Get to know them better: Kingdom Hearts Interviews
by DirtyZephyrAssassin
Summary: I go around and interview special guests from Kingdom hearts :3 Requests are gladly accepted. Rating because of slightly weird, suggestive themes, coarse language, and hints of drug use ; WARNING: CONTAINS YAOI
1. Screamers, Clothes, & Pixie Sticks

**Heya! This is an exclusive interview with some special guests: Sora, Kairi, Riku, Namine, Squall (Leon), and Cloud Strife.**

* * *

**Me:** Hey Everyone! I'm just about to interview some very special guests! Say hello!

**Sora:** Hey!

**Riku**: *nods*

**Kairi:** Hi!

**Namine**: *_waves politely_*

**Leon:** ……

**Cloud:** Uh…

**Me:** Um, o-kay…so I have some questions to ask! What's with your clothes?

**Sora:** They are so awesome, aren't they!

**Riku:** *_sweatdrops_*

**Me:** *_facepalms_* that's…not what I meant

**Kairi:** Well I decided that my favourite colour would be pink instead of purple. You like?

**Me:** Uh…its an improvement…I guess

**Riku:** Is it just me, or did your dress get shorter, Kairi?

**Leon:** ……

**Cloud:** No offence, but…you look like a slut

**Sora:** I am NOT a slut!

**Cloud:** *_facepalms_* I was…talking to Kairi

**Sora:** Oh…

**Kairi:** I am NOT a slut!

**Namine:** Don't say that, Cloud!

**Riku:** Yep, it's definitely shorter

**Me:** Umm…Can we continue?

**Riku:** Right. Sorry. They're just being asses

**Cloud:** Yep

**Sora & Kairi:** *_glares_*

**Namine:** *_smiles_*

**Leon:** *_blank look_*

**Riku:** My clothes? Well, not much to say, really

**Me:** WHAT!? NOT MUCH TO SAY!? YOU LOOK FUCKING HOT!!!! *_fangirl scream_*

**Sora:** OMG Run Riku! She's gone into fangirl mode! Quick! Hide in here!

**Riku:** Uh, that's a broom cupboard *_sweatdrops_*

**Sora:** I knew that

**Me:** *_tackles Riku to ground_* No! Don't go! I'm fine now!

**Riku:** Fine.

**Sora:** Yay Riku!

**Kairi:** Uh, helloooo? This is us, still waiting to be interviewed!

**Me:** Oh, right. Hehe sorry.

**Namine:** It's fine

**Cloud:** Hmph.

**Leon:** *_raises eyebrow_*

**Me:** OK! Your hair. Is it natural?

**Sora:** Hell yeh! Did you see that time when me an' Riku fell in the ocean?

**Riku:** 3 seconds in the air and it was suddenly perfect and dry.

**Kairi:** That's so unfair.

**Me:** Oh, so I take it yours _isn't_ like that, Kairi?

**Kairi:** Oh no, it is. It's just unfair that most guy's hair is like that.

**Namine:** Quite true. Mine is natural.

**Me:** Well? Cloud? Leon?

**Cloud:** *_runs hand through hair_* Yeh, natural.

**Leon:** *_shrugs_* natural.

**Me:** OMFG Leon said something!

**Kairi:** *_gasp_*

**Namine:** Wow.

**Cloud:** You think Leon is _quiet_?! HAH! You should hear him in bed!

**Leon:** *_glares_* Speak for yourself, Cloud.

**Sora:** *_stifles a laugh_* _Cloud?!_ Hahahha

**Cloud:** *_death glare_*

**Riku:** Hahhah

**Namine:** *_smiles_*

**Kairi:** *_falls off chair laughing_*

**Me:** Teehee. So, you're both screamers?

**Leon:** ……

**Cloud:** ……

**Me:** I thought so. Anyway, next question! Would you take your pants off right now if I gave you lots of munny?

**Kairi:** Uh, wearing a dress here…

**Namine:** Same here.

**Cloud:** Are you serious?

**Riku:** Are you kidding?

**Leon: **…

**Sora:** Hell Yeah! *_rips off pants_*

**Riku:** *_resists urge to jump Sora_*

**Me:** *_sweatdrop_* Um…I was just kidding

**Sora:** *l_ooks down in embarrassment_* Oh…

**Riku:** *_Rolls eyes and pulls Sora closer to him_*

**Namine & Me:** Naww, how cute!

**Riku:** *_blank stare_*

**Sora:** *_blushes and tries to hide Disney boxers_*

**Cloud:** You wear _Disney_ boxers? Hahhah that's funny.

**Leon:** Almost as funny as _your_ Disney boxers, Cloud.

**Everyone (except Cloud):** AHAHAHAHAHHAH

**Cloud:** *_glares_* Damn it, Squall! You promised!

**Leon:** Don't. Call. Me. That.

**Sora:** Don't call you what, Squall?

**Leon:** *_pinches bridge of nose_* Shut up, Sora.

**Sora:** What did I say?!

**Kairi:** *_sweatdrops_*

**Riku:** You want me to shut him up?

**Leon:** Please.

**Riku:** Gladly *_drags Sora into nearby room_*

**Me:** Um, well, now that _that_ is sorted, onto the next question!

**Cloud:** Theres _more_?

**Namine:** *_nods and smiles_*

**Kairi:** Yay!

**Leon:** *_facepalms_*

**Me:** Yes, so I have some pixie sticks here! Who wants some?

**Cloud:** Pixie sticks!

**Leon:** NO! DON'T GIVE HIM ANY!

**Cloud:** Aw, Le-_on_. That is so unfair.

**Me:** Uh, I think I'll listen to Leon *_regretfully puts away pixie sticks_*

**Kairi & Namine:** …

**Cloud:** *_pouts_*

**Me, Kairi & Namine:** DAMN IT CLOUD DON'T POUT IT LOOKS TOO SEXY!!!

**Leon:** *_jumps Cloud_*

**Me:** Quick! Someone film this!

**Namine:** *_whips out video camera_*

**Kairi:** *_starts filming Cloud and Leon_* This is _so_ going on youtube.

**Me:** Hehe. I think this is the end of the interview. Whelp, another one will come very soon!

* * *

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, or any of these characters (Damn it)**

**ANY SUGGESTIONS??????? PLEASE LET ME KNOW AND PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!**

**If you have a special request interview, then just click the lil' button below and request it! You know you want tooooo!**


	2. Pizza, Guitars, and Surprise Sex

**Heya Everyone! Heres the next interview. Today my special guests were none other than Axel, Roxas, Yuffie and Demyx! Annnnnnd some other unexpected people. Seifer, Fuu and Rai, to be exact. *__*****Me:** So, hi guys…and, uh, Girl. How are you?

* * *

**Roxas: ***_shrugs_* I'm good.

**Axel**: Oh, you're better than _good_, Roxy.

**Yuffie**: Why am I the only girl here?! *_facepalms_*

**Demyx**: Does anyone want to listen to some music?! *_glances around hopefully*_

**Me**: Uh, not right now, Demyx.

**Demyx**: *_pouts_*

**Me**: *_huggles Demyx_* Why do all you guys look so cute when you pout?!

**Demyx**: I am NOT cute!

**Yuffie**: *_puts hand on Dem's shoulder sympathetically_* She's right, Dem.

**Axel**: Even Roxy looks cute when he pouts

**Roxas**: I do NOT!

**Axel**: *_smirks_*

**Me**: Argh! Stop distracting me with how cute and sexy you are!!! *_calms down_* So, Axel. Can I ask you a question?

**Axel**: Shoot.

**Me**: Okay. So, I take it you like fire?

**Axel**: Is it that obvious?

**Roxas**: Yeh, he's a pyro.

**Demyx**: Mmm-hmm. *_nods_*

**Axel**: Well, I wouldn't say I was a _pyro_…

**Yuffie**: Axel. You like to set things on fire for the fun of it. How are you _not_ a pyro?!

**Me**: She's right, Axel.

**Axel**: Well, it _is _fun!

**Me**: Sadly, I know exactly what you mean. Ah, memories of science at school…

**Roxas**: Fire is kinda, I dunno, amazing to watch..

**Yuffie**: OMFG I'm surrounded by pyromaniacs! Argh! *_gets up to run away_*

**Me**: No Yuffie, don't go! The interview isn't finished yet!

**Demyx**: Yeah! And _I'm_ not a pyro! I'm the complete opposite! I like water!

**Axel**: Just forget her. Besides, I like it better when it's just me an' sunshine here.

**Roxas**: Stop calling me that!

**Me**: I'll give you sea-salt ice cream if you stay!

**Yuffie**: Oooo Yay! *_takes popsicle_*

**Axel**: And what about _us_?

**Me**: Fine. *_hands out ice cream to all_*

**Demyx**: Yay!

**Axel**: Mmm. Tastes like Roxas.

**Everyone**: WHAT!?!?

**Roxas**: *_nearly chokes on ice cream_*

**Axel**: It's what his skin tastes like. Salty, but _sweet._ *_smirks_*

**Yuffie**: Okay, TOO MUCH INFORMATION, Axel!

**Me**: No no, tell us more! This'll make a great interview!

**Axel**: Well…

**Roxas**: *_looking mortified_* NO! *_attempts to tackle Axel to ground but fails miserably_*

**Axel**: *_laughing_* I was kidding, Sunshine! I just like to see you when you're angry.

**Roxas**: *_frowns, but because of his overly cute features its more like a pout_*

**Yuffie**: Look away! Roxas is pouting! *_shields eyes_*

**Me**: *_shields eyes incase of more fangirl-ism*_

**Demyx**: Uh…

**Yuffie**: Is it safe?

**Roxas**: *_extremely pissed off_* Yes.

**Me**: *_uncovers eyes and turns back to Axel_* So, we _don't_ get to know about Roxas' sex life?

**Axel**: 'Afraid not.

**Me**: Damn.

**Roxas**: *_looks relieved_*

**Me**: Anyway, now a question for Roxas. Can you show us your two keyblades?

**Roxas**: Sure. *_summons Ultima keyblade and Two Across keyblade_*

**Me**: OMFG WOW THEY IS SO AWESOME AND PRETTY *_strokes keyblades_*

**Yuffie**: Yeh, yours are so much better than Sora's!

**Axel**: *_laughs_* Yes, Roxy may look cute, but he's deadly with these things.

**Roxas**: I am NOT cute!

**Axel**: *_raises eyebrow_*

**Yuffie**: Uh-huh, you just keep telling yourself that, Roxas.

**Me**: Yep.

**Demyx**: It's true.

**Roxas**: *_pouts_*

**Me**: Argh, he's pouting again! Axel, make him stop!

**Axel**: *_jumps Roxas, making the couch fall backward_*

**Me**: …

**Yuffie**: Good thing we weren't sitting on _that _couch.

**Me**: *_nodding in agreement_* Too right.

**Demyx**: I…think I'm gonna go now. Besides, I was gonna go meet Zexy anyway! Bye!

**Yuffie**: Buh-bye Dem!

**Me**: Seeya!

**Demyx**: *_walks out door_*

**Yuffie**: …

**Me**: …

**Yuffie**: Are they gonna, you know, _stop_?

**Me**: Nope. Axel is in control.

**Yuffie**: Ah.

**Me**: …

**Yuffie**: …

**Me**: This is getting awkward. Do you wanna leave them to it and get some pizza?

**Yuffie**: Yeah, all right.

* * *

_5 minutes later, at the pizza parlour-_

**Me**: *_sitting at table with Yuffie_* Hey, isn't that Seifer and his friends?

**Yuffie**: 'Tis.

**Me**: I know! I'll interview them! *_calls over to them_*

**Seifer**: What do _you_ want?

**Me**: I wanna interview you!

**Seifer**: Whatever.

**Yuffie**: *_ready to kill Seifer_*

**Me**: Sooo, what are you doin' here?

**Rai**: We're gettin' pizza, y'know?

**Fuu**: Lunch.

**Seifer**: Yeh. Now, are you done or what?

**Me**: Just le'me ask a few more questions!

**Seifer**: Make it quick.

**Fuu**: Fast.

**Rai**: We're hungry, y'know?

**Yuffie**: So…annoying…must…resist…urge to…kill…

**Me**: Okay okay! One more! Um…Where were you just before?

**Seifer**: What's it to you?

**Fuu**: Away.

**Rai**: The Struggle, y'know?

**Seifer**: Why the hell did you tell her that!?

**Rai**: I'm _hungry_, y'know?

**Fuu**: Idiot.

**Me**: Um…

**Yuffie**: *_gives in to killing urge and attacks Seifer and Rai_*

**Fuu**: Hurt.

**Seifer**: *_sprawled on ground_* What the hell did you do that for, bitch?!

**Rai**: She's crazy, y'know?!

**Me**: Yuffie, was that really necessary?

**Yuffie**: Yep.

**Seifer**: *_gets up and walks towards us_*

**Yuffie**: Wow, he looks pissed.

**Me**: You wanna start running now?

**Yuffie**: Yep.

**Me**: *_running_*

**Yuffie**: *_running_*

**Me**: I think we lost 'em. Lets go check on Axel and Roxas.

**Yuffie**: I hope they're still wearing clothes.

**Me**: Teehee I don't! *_pulls out camera phone_*

* * *

_-Now outside door to room where Axel and Roxas were left-_

**Yuffie**: *_opens door_* What the hell!?

**Me**: What?! What?! *_looks around hopefully_*

**Yuffie**: They're playing Guitar Hero!? *_pointing at Axel and Roxas in front of the TV with guitars_*

**Me**: Uh…

**Yuffie**: …

**Roxas**: You guys wanna play too?

**Me**: YES I LOVE GUITAR HERO IM GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!

**Yuffie**: GIMME THAT GUITAR!

**Axel and Roxas: ***_sweatdrops_*

* * *

**Yes, um, well, you can guess what happened after that. Anyway, that was the second interview! And I didn't expect to interview Seifer, Rai and Fuu, it just suddenly came up while I was typing!**

**MORE REQUESTS AND SUGGESTIONS PLEASE! ^__^**

**YOU CAN ALSO SEND IN SOME QUESTIONS YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE ANSWERED BY A CERTAIN PERSON! JUST REVIEW!**

**OH! And tell me if you would like to see more interviews with any of the already-interviewed characters! Chances are, they're probably gonna be interviewed again, anyway, but still! :D **

**JUST CLICK BELOW!**


	3. Gardening, Zexy, and Drug Use

**This. is the result. of boredom. :3**

* * *

**Me:** Okay! Im here with some more KH guests to interview them! Say haii :3 _*looks around stupidly*_

**Axel: **Yo….Oh god now I sound like Reno _*facepalms*_

**Demyx:** HAIIII _*waves maniacally*_

**Zexion:** Hello.

**Marluxia:** Greetings, young Maiden! _*bows*_

**Me:** __

**Larxene:** Fuck this shit _*walks out of room*_

**Demyx:** Byyyeee Larxene!

**Zexion:** that woman needs to be on medication.

**Axel:** She is. Just the wrong sort. If…you know what I mean _*laughs*_

**Demyx:** You mean, someone gave her the wrong prescription thingy?

**Marluxia:** if that's what you think, then yes. _*pats Demyx on head*_

**Demyx:** Eh? _*frowns*_

**Me:** Moving on! So. Axel. Demyx. Fuck, it's been AGES since the last interview D:

**Axel:** I know, right? But we've all been busy.

**Zexion:** Pfft. Busy? Doing what?

**Axel:** Roxas. _*grins*_

**Demyx:** _*blank stare*_

**Marluxia:** Well I'VE been planting more flowers in the Castle Oblivion gardens.

**Demyx:** Castle Oblivion has GARDENS!? Since when?

**Marluxia:** Since forever, Dem. _*sweatdrops*_

**Zexion:** I sometimes go out there to read.

**Axel:** Me too.

**Zexion:** I said READ, Axel. Not fuck.

**Marluxia:** you've been doing WHAT in my garden?! _*is horrified*_

**Demyx:** I wrote some new songs :D

**Me:** Really? That's awesome Dem. About what?

**Demyx:** They're about Ze- _*gets cut off by Zexion's hand over his mouth*_

**Zexion:** Yes, well, um. Let's just continue with the interview.

**Axel:**_*raises eyebrow*_

**Marluxia:** Aww. Zexy, that's so cute _*laughs*_

**Me:** NYEAHAHAHHA.

**Zexion:** o_o

**Me:** _*clears throat*_ Anyway, since this is an interview, I have some questions for you guys.

**Marluxia:** Naturally.

**Axel:** Mmhm.

**Demyx:** I'm hungry.

**Me:** Right. Well, Boxers or briefs?

**Axel:** Umm. Nothing, really.

**Marluxia:** Yeah, we all tend to go commando, what with our coats being made out of this material and such.

**Demyx:** Yep.

**Zexion:** No comment.

**Me: **Hey Zexy, are you emo? A lot of people seem to think that.

**Zexion:** No, I'm not fucking emo. WHY does everyone think that?

**Marluxia:** Mahbeh its your harrrrr _*goofy smile*_

**Axel:** Oh yeah. Same as how YOUR hair make's everyone think you're gay, Marly.

**Demyx:** He's got a point :D

**Axel:** Wait…ARE you gay?

**Marluxia:** Teehee. Wouldn't YOU like to know. _*smirks*_

**Zexion:** Im scared now.

**Demyx and Axel:** Ditto.

**Me:** IMMA MAEK A GRILLED CHEEZ SANDWICHE 8D

**Axel, Marluxia, Zexion & Demyx:** o_o

**Me:** What?

**Axel:** Wow. You're almost as bad as Dem _*sweatdrops*_

**Demyx:** Hey! What's THAT supposed to mean? *frowns*

**Zexion:** Forget it, Dem-Dem. He's being an asshole.

**Marluxia:** AHHAHAHHAA! DEM-DEM? Awwww, Zexy that's so sweet :3

**Zexion:** _*hides blush behind hair*_ Fuck you, Marluxia.

**Demyx:** Yeah, Marly. Leave Sexy Zexy alone! _*glomps Zexion*_

**Axel:** _*laughs*_ Sexy…Zexy…?

**Marluixa:** _*still laughing*_

**Me:**Yeah, uhh, im cutting this interview short.

**Axel:** Uh really? Why?

**Me:** _*points to Dem making out with Zex on the floor, post-glomp*_

**Axel:** Ohhh. Right.

**Me:** _*continues watching make-out session on floor*_

**Axel:** _*sigh*_ You want me to get you some popcorn, then?

**Me:** _*nod*_

**Axel:** _*goes to make popcorn*_

**Marluxia:** Where do you keep the weed? _*looks around hopefully*_

**Me:** o_o This is why I don't interview you regularly.


End file.
